The single candle light flickers in the window, casting a soft, gentle glow, as Our Blessed Mother Mary holds her arms out to me in the shadows… 
The freshly fallen snow covers the ground and trees, and for this moment, my heart is in peace.
I lift up to You Jesus, my One Love Savior God, my Abba Shalom…, my heart…, my love, my JOY, and gratitude for the gift of this gentle blanket of white…gift of snow angels and giggles.
I long to still this beautiful Shalom moment, where all is quiet and in gentle rest.
As the day awakens, the intensity of the snow escalates into storm, and I see from my window, a lone squirrel desperately trying to reach a secure branch, in order to hold on for safety against the regaling winds…
The shaking windows join in unison with the shaking of my knees, as the memories of a past snow storm breaks through my defenses. 
Searing pain…complete collapse…lights flashing…needles flying on the floor, and the shrieking of the ambulance wheels as they turn into the ER entrance…
Surgery, emergency surgery…. Swallow this nasogastric tube or you will surely die…terror all around, as I hear the voices speak of the snow storm of the century…leave now…or delay and be unable to leave…, my one love John must go…
Words, not unlike what they are uttering now… Where are You, Jesus, my One Love Savior, my Abba Shalom?
I ask for time alone in that hospital room… Time to pray to you for courage before I must live the memory dreaded…Mommy, with this tube in her nose and into her intestines….branded into a young daughters heart.
Jesus, my One Love Savior, my Abba Shalom comes to me…Peace…receiving Jesus, the promised One of Old…and “He shall be Peace”…(Mi_5:4).
I motion for John and the doctors to return. With their faces ashen and eyes downcast they return to the room… And I make a request..
. I ask them to smile…
With the grace and peace that only Jesus, my One Love Savior, my Abba Shalom can give… I began to swallow the tube… We say goodbye, my one love John and I , as I am being rushed to surgery…. “You must go…the storm…30 inches…leave now… I love you…”
Not unlike today…warnings screaming on our phones…alarms going off…tales of closures and no roads…
Three days alone after surgery…tubes in my throat, IV’s in both arms, cardiac monitors and morphine drips…can’t move… No one can come…no one can leave…all passages blocked…
Except…
The presence of Jesus, my One Love, Abba Shalom, who cradles me in my raw, cut open nakedness… While the snow continues to gently fall…outside of my hospital room window… And I drift into the arms of Jesus, my One Love Savior, my Abba Shalom Who whispered then…, Who whispers now, as I struggle with the fear of this storm..
“You are safe…
You are held in my heart and…
In my arms..
Let me rock you as a wee child, and speak over you once again…the words that you cling to, and that I long to forever tell you…”
You are
so…
Loved“!
The snowfall is slowing as the evening begins to shadow us…
Snow angels and giggles and the warm arms of my one love John await me…
Bowing low and praising and thanking Jesus, my One Love Savior God, my Abba Shalom…
For the gift of your blanket of white, both now,
and so long ago.
Everything is Grace,
the wee one