“He, the Dayspring, shall visit us in His mercy, to shine on those who sit in darkness
And in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1:87-79)
My One Lord Jesus, Savior, Redeemer, Healer, Grace and Gift always, Gabby and I sat on the window seat of Dayspring…,our Victorian home for over 18 years…. Not able to move freely…emotionally or physically…, we watched the movers take our few possessions to the new house….
My One Lord Jesus, Grace and Gift always, we were trembling with both fear and hope, in anticipation of You Lord ,” making all things new” for myself, my one love always and forever John, and Gabby puppy.
As I cradled my Gabby, I began to pray…, to let go…say goodbye to all that had been…
Here…………
Granting Grace and Gift always to your wee one, My One Love Jesus, Joy Forever…I carried Gabby in my arms and we said goodbye…
As we were approaching the new house…it’s name held close to my heart….a peace descended upon me….
We entered the house…my invoking Your Peace ,my One Love Jesus upon it…and I placed Gabby in his bed in the kitchen…the room that has always been the very heart of our home.
Oh how this wee one was so filled with Your hope and Joy, excitement and peace….
We scurried around unpacking this, placing that….until exhausted, it was time for me to sleep.
Our new bedroom Lord Jesus….!
Since my coma, and even before that, my one love John ,always and forever and I have slept apart. Needing to be on the same floor, necessitated that I sleep in the Living Room to assuage the pain of the darkness…
Filled with happy exhaustion, I climbed into the new bed and, wrapping the covers round high, I asked that You , my One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift always, hold me in Your loving arms. Immediately, I fell into a restful sleep.
Exhausted, my one love always and forever approached the threshold of the bedroom….
Once again, the tiny light permeated the crack in the door, and no longer was it my one love always and forever entering the room, but rather the dark figure of memory …looming towards me, as the guttural screams for Mommy to save me, spewed forth from my mouth….Drowning in tears , I could no longer see…
That it was not my father, but my one love., always and forever…., my cherished one.
He comforted me My One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift always, and we did not speak of it when the first rays of light peaked through the windows the next morning.
I had thought that I was healed of this post-traumatic stress response, but it had not been challenged for a long time….
My One Love Jesus, you know that I have suffered with this terror for over thirty years…not even my babies could enter my bedroom once I was in bed.
During daylight, I still felt JOY…,myself, My one love John, and Gabby boy…as we drank deeply of the peace that is this new home.
As nightfall approached, I crawled into bed, asked to be snuggled into Your arms my One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift always…and protected by You…
The tiny light permeated the crack in the door once again, and the guttural screams rose up from the depths of my being…
Seeing, but not seeing…
My One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift always, I was being covered in Gabby kisses and my heart was filled with laughter and JOY as my one love John, always and forever smiled!
My One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift…Joy for always….
Since that night….I am greeted in the darkness by Gabby kisses, and the hand of my Beloved, my one love John, always and forever…
And You, My One Love Jesus, Grace and Gift always…Healing, after almost 35 years of terror, I bow low, and lean into Your heart, spilling tears of Thanksgiving to You!
“For nothing is impossible with God”. (Luke1:37)
There, at the precipice, a tiny light permeated the crack in the door leading into my room…
And…
“ In the Face of the darkness, light is near” (Job 17:1)
And…
“The Light will dawn in your souls AND CHRIST THE
MORNING STAR
Will shine in your HEARTS.” (1 Peter 1;19)
The name Morning Star was chosen for our new house, long before we ever entered
This beautiful, simple home…..
Our Home, filled with Your love, Joy, Peace and Healing…,
Blessed and Beloved by You am I, My One Love Jesus, Grace, Gift and JOY always….
Who chose to heal me, through the joy-filled, gentle ,and unconditional loving kisses of a fuzzy white dog…
Everything is Grace,
The wee one
Beautiful….
What a unique and interesting voice you have. Thank you for writing this story of healing of a an old, ugly wound. Funny how little dogs can carry us forward with their love. Your new house sounds wonderful and looks beautiful. Many blessings as you settle in.
Everything is very open with a clear explanation of the issues. It was really informative. Your website is very useful. Thank you for sharing!
I rejoice in your healing dear friend! The journey has been long and painful but, once again, God makes all things new! Have the merriest of Christmases filled with love, peace and joy.