The Return
The wee one stands before the huge yellow door…..a steel door…not wanting to Return but being propelled by God- Love…
She rings the bell, takes a step back with her cane, and awaits the opening of the door to the Intensive Care Unit…….her heart is racing…,”I know this place, but I do not know this place…… walls spinning, can’t breath………..
Like the wide, foaming mouth of the all consuming dragon………., the steel door swings wide and seemingly drags the wee one inside.
Lights blinding, machines screeching…where is my friend?….I look, and the first room filled with IV bags and cardiac monitors and oxygen tanks…..
Rests my friend…chalk white pale, so frightened. I move quickly to his side and begin to pray………….
Wanting so much to concentrate on praying……I feel that the room looks familiar….how could that be…..but it does…….
Small talk is circling the air like a flock of birds….and the wee one is drowning in memories buried so deep inside…..
She prayed the last time you know…..her very last prayer was “Lord Jesus, for how many ages have You hung upon Your cross and still men pass You by and regard You not except to pierce anew Your Sacred Heart”…………blood and water flowing freely
My friend is covered in bruises as black as burnt charcoal…..bleeding internally
The wee one opens her eyes and looks down at all of the bruises and IV lines coming out of both arms and the machines screaming in unison as they monitor whether she is alive or not…. And the bruises covering…..blood spilled………
Her eyes opening after days of being shut……..
She looks to the right and her eyes fall upon the one that God gave to her….the precious gift from the One, Jesus, my Grace and my Savior.
“Where am I, the wee one asks..what happened to me”? , and the one love asks …”do you know who I am”?
“No….”, I am terrified but I do not know…..My one love tells me that I have been in a coma for days and am in ICU…..
I trusted You my One Love, Jesus……, My Grace, My Savior and I had spent the day in prayer,
waiting for the medicine to begin working as I prepared for the colonoscopy set for early the next morning.
I completely opened my heart, and surrendered myself into Your hands……and I am here….and my one love I do not know……..
Did you pass me by on that ill-fated day my One Love, my Jesus, my Grace, my Savior? Did I trust You in vain?
As we chat, my friend’s coloring begins to show signs of life giving blood flooding his cheeks……Your blood,
One Love Jesus, My Grace and My Savior???
The wee one gazes at her one love….I know you…you are my husband…..and he smiles………I am beginning to Return……
Tell me the wee one says, tell me what happened…..the one love goes slowly and repeats over and over again that I had lost all of my electrolytes from not being prepared with the proper medication and supervision, and that I seized, and fell into a coma.
Foaming at the mouth, convulsing, collapsing into a coma…..ambulance rushing, being tied down, covered in blood as the wee one thrashes unaware of what is happening…….children crying, my one love in shock….
Why oh Lord, my One Love..Jesus, my Grace and my Savior………….I trusted You and You allowed this to happen?
The CT Scan shows that my friend has stopped bleeding….he is beginning to get stronger……the family breathes a sigh of gratitude to You Lord.
The road to recovery for the wee one is long….still carrying her baggage……but growing closer and closer to You, Jesus, my One love, my Grace, my Savior………and to the one love You have given me here on earth……..and my dear children, especially Quiet Son, who shed buckets of tears, draining his glass momentarily the night I almost died.
St. John of the Cross said, “To come to the pleasure you have not you must go by a way in which you enjoy not”
You took me my One love, Jesus my Grace and my Savior by a way I did not wish to go……..
You gave back so much!
Embracing my forever prayer to die with Your name on my lips, the wee one spoke aloud the words………
O Jesus! Let Your Blood be upon me not for a curse but for a blessing.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world: have mercy on me! Amen
The very last words uttered before never remembering……..
The One love, Jesus, my Grace, my Savior…..restoring, blessing and healing……Returning me to the one love, given to me, for forever ,and to Quiet Son, loving and praying so tenderly……to silent girl…mother herself….heart –wrenched,…..and Gentle Girl, cherishing and strong…………
But most of all to You, the One Love, Jesus, my Grace, my Savior….where all love flows from, who climbed upon the wood and freely went where you would rather not go…. for me….for my family, for my friend, for all of us……….
I kissed my friend goodbye asked the One love, Jesus, my Grace and my Savior to bless him….and,
I told him that I believed in miracles…….!
Everything is Grace,
the wee one